March 2012
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February 2012
It’s hard to have an upbeat attitude when you’re up at 2am and can’t stop crying. At least I was able to go back to sleep eventually. Now I really don’t want to go to class, I don’t even want to get out of bed.
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Sometimes I wish I could run away...
to the stars. Drift through the emptiness in silence and awe. Sink into the clouds of the gas giant, supernatural displays of oranges and reds more amazing then any sunset. Swim in the rings of Saturn, covering me in star dust. Feel the strong hold of a black hole that pulls me into a diamond that shines confidently from the light that could not escape it’s grasp. I wish I could leave this...
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I’m not sure how I feel… I’m still confused and I just wish I could be in your arms.
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I wish life was easy
that it was simple
that emotions and logic pointed to the same path
there were not an infinite number of choices that lead to very different outcomes.
I wish I was normal
that I had healthy coping skills
that I was able to hold bullshit conversations
that I was the average size 10
that I didn’t have distorted perceptions of the world around me.
...
note to self...
working on thin lines on a small model should not be done at 2AM after I’ve been working on a bottle for the past half hour.
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Smoke drive?
yes please <3 then I’m going to work on my new Frankie model. Got him because I was in such a depressed state today. Needed something to make me smile.
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feeling pretty bummed out :/
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